From the novel Already In A Meeting

People pleasing at work, and the part that can't say no

The one who holds it together
You answer before you finish reading. You make the coffee, the agenda, and the save. People say the place would fall apart without you, and a part of you needs that to stay true.
Which one are you? Take the quiz Watch the episode
Kate, Chief of Staff, from the novel Already In A Meeting
Kate
Chief of Staff
“No problem. I'll have it ready by 10.”

What it looks like at work

1
You say yes before you have checked your calendar.
2
You know everyone's coffee order. Very few people know you are exhausted.
3
Your to-do list is mostly other people's to-do lists.
4
A free evening makes you slightly nervous.
The part behind it

Why a part of you does this

In parts work, this is a protector. It learned early that being useful is the same as being safe, and it has been on duty ever since. It got you hired and trusted, so give it some credit. It is also tired. It can't put anything down until it believes someone else will catch it.
“I need to stop being this available.”Kate's inner meeting, from the book

Watch Kate's episode

One thing to try this week

The Gap
From the book
5 minutesAfter a day when you said yes and wished you hadn't.
  1. Think of the last time you did something you didn't want to do without saying so. Something small. A yes that cost you something.
  2. Notice what happened inside before you responded. What was there first, before the action.
  3. Write one sentence about it. Just one. Nobody needs to see it.
Why it helps. The part that says yes moves fast. Seeing the half second before it is how you get a choice back.
Already In A Meeting, a novel by Anna Milaeva
In the book

Kate is one of five people at Arco

Arco is a small wellness startup that has pivoted four times in eight months. Already In A Meeting is a short, funny novel about the people inside it, and the meetings running inside each of them, with real parts work underneath. What happens to Kate at the retreat is in the book.
Get the book Meet the others
Paperback and Kindle, and free on Kindle Unlimited.
Talk it through

Recognised yourself?

I'm Anna, the author. I work with this as an IFS coach, with professionals and leaders who are good at their jobs and tired of how much it costs them. The first call is free and lasts thirty minutes.
Book a free intro call Take the quiz

The other four

Daniel, Founder and CEO The one with the new planDaniel, Founder and CEO Priya, Head of Marketing The one with three versionsPriya, Head of Marketing Tom, Engineering Lead The one who says fineTom, Engineering Lead Marta, Lawyer, and Tom's partner The one who can't stopMarta, Lawyer, and Tom's partner
Seeing these patterns across your whole team? Already In A Meeting for teams →