Learn about ifs

The Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model is more than a therapeutic or coaching approach; it's a transformative journey into the Self. At its core, IFS posits that the mind is naturally multiple and that all of us possess numerous "parts" along with a core "Self." This model empowers you to understand the diverse, many times conflicting, elements of your psyche, offering a path to harmony, awareness and authentic self-love. By embracing this inner multiplicity of parts, IFS opens a door to healing internal conflicts and unlocking our hidden potential.

In the IFS model, "parts" are like distinct personalities within us. They have their feelings, motivations, and histories. Imagine a mini-family living inside you, with members trying to protect, manage, or heal from past experiences and traumas. These parts can sometimes be in conflict, like disagreeing members of a family, leading to internal struggles. Understanding these parts as separate from your core Self is the first step in the transformative journey of IFS. It's about recognizing these inner voices, understanding their intentions, and learning to harmonize them and help them heal.

At the heart of IFS is the concept of the "Self" a confident, compassionate presence within each person, distinct from the parts. The Self is a natural leader, always holding positive intentions towards all parts. It's a source of wisdom, balance, and compassion. Unlike parts that may carry burdens of fear, pain, or trauma, the Self is unburdened and possesses qualities like curiosity, calmness, and clarity. The Self leads the internal system with these qualities, fostering an environment of understanding and growth.

The transformative process of IFS involves introducing our parts to the Self. This is akin to facilitating a meeting where all internal aspects can be heard and acknowledged by the compassionate Self. This process allows parts to release their extreme roles and burdens, leading to harmonious internal relationships. It's about transforming a conflicted internal dynamic into a cooperative and loving one where every part feels valued and supported by the Self.

Visualize your mind as an orchestra. The "parts" are the musicians, each playing its instrument, sometimes in harmony, other times in discord. The "Self" is the conductor, bringing direction, harmony, and unity to the music. This orchestra analogy beautifully illustrates the IFS model. The conductor (the Self) doesn't silence the musicians (the parts) but instead works to understand and lead them, creating a symphony that resonates with balance and beauty.

Recognizing and relating to your parts is a journey into self-awareness. It begins with tuning into your inner world - your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. It's about greeting each part with the curiosity and compassion of the Self. Some parts may carry pain or negative beliefs, while others may strive to protect you. By approaching these parts from a place of Self-led curiosity, you can begin to understand their roles and transform the way they interact within you. This practice is foundational and life-changing in IFS and leads to deep self-awareness and transformation.

In IFS, parts are broadly categorized as managers, firefighters, and exiles. Managers are proactive, maintaining control and order to prevent vulnerability. Firefighters are reactive, springing into action to soothe or distract from pain. Exiles carry the deep emotional wounds of past traumas and are often suppressed to keep pain at bay. Recognizing these categories helps in understanding how parts function and interact within your internal system. This understanding is vital for fostering inner peace and initiating the transformational process.

Applying IFS is about engaging in an internal dialogue led by the Self. This dialogue involves identifying your parts, understanding their roles and burdens, and transforming their relationships with the Self. It's a process of bringing Self-led qualities to each part, aligning them with the compassionate, confident nature of the Self. This transformation leads to a more integrated, empowered and peaceful inner life, which positively reflects in your interactions with the outer world. The goal is not to eliminate parts but to help them find their optimal roles within the guidance of the Self and live our best lives.

1. No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model" by Richard C. Schwartz 2. "Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy" by Jay Earley 3. "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation" by Janina Fisher 4. "Many Minds, One Self: Evidence for a Radical Shift in Paradigm" by Richard C. Schwartz and Robert R. Falconer 5. "Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life" by Tom Holmes

Self-leadership is an empowering journey towards understanding and harnessing the essence at our core essence - the Self. With its roots in IFS and echoed across various cultures, Self-leadership is about aligning with this innermost essence to lead a life of harmony, purpose, and understanding. It's a transformative process of recognizing and integrating and healing the different "parts" of our psyche under the guidance of the Self.

The Self or Self-leadership, possesses 8 main and powerful qualities: calmness confidence curiosity clarity courage creativity connectedness compassion These qualities enable the Self to lead effectively, much like a conductor in an orchestra. The Self isn't superior but serves as a mediator, bringing balance and coherence to the various parts within us. It also gives us CHOICE to feel empowered and have agency to live life on our terms.

Knowing when you're in the state of Self is key to practicing Self-leadership. This state is often experienced during moments of flow and deep connection. To discern the presence of the Self, ask yourself how you feel towards a part. If you embody one of the "C" qualities (like curiosity or compassion), you're likely in the Self. The goal isn't perfection but a "good enough" level of Self to lead your parts. We are never 100% in Self, but enough Self-energy is sufficient to effectively lead our lives from a place of empowerment and choice.

Self-leadership is demonstrated in how the Self interacts with and guides the parts. For example, when conflicting parts arise (like a part wanting to relax and another urging to work), the Self steps in as a mediator, negotiating and finding solutions that satisfy all parts. This active and compassionate inner leadership steers us towards internal harmony and enriches our daily interactions.

Across cultures, the concept of leading from an inner essence is revered. From the Atman in Hinduism to the inner spirit in Native American cultures, the idea of an untainted core guiding life is universal. Embracing Self-leadership is not just a personal journey but a collective imperative in today's world, fostering empathy, clarity, and compassion in our global community.

In my practice, as a transformational coach, I work primarily with these powerful tools for connection and growth: Breathwork: Breathwork involves intentional breathing techniques that help regulate the nervous system, reduce stress, and create a calm, centered state of mind, making it easier to connect with your inner Self. Journaling: Journaling is a reflective practice that allows you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and parts, providing insight and clarity. It’s a way to connect with your inner Self by putting your inner world into words and images. IFS - Parts Work: Internal Family Systems (IFS) or parts work is a therapeutic approach where you identify and interact with different parts of your psyche, leading to greater self-awareness and healing. It allows you to access your core Self-leadership qualities. Prayer or Meditation: Prayer and meditation are practices that cultivate a deeper connection with your spiritual self or a higher power. They foster inner peace, grounding, and a sense of purpose, supporting your Self-leadership journey. Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, with awareness and without judgment. This practice helps you stay connected to your inner Self, even amid daily challenges. Movement: Movement practices, such as yoga, dance, or walking, allow you to connect with your body, release tension, and access the wisdom stored within. Movement fosters a deeper sense of embodiment and connection with your authentic Self.